Nameless Angels
by Undying Obsession
Summary: This is a story of three girls with secrets; Natalie, whose black life is poisoned by unrequited love, Deeshah, whose perfect life as high school royalty isn't what she wants at all, and Allura, who is harbouring the most terrible secret of them all.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

'_The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling.' – J D Salinger_

Hastily brushing away the sudden, angry tears, Natalie threw her iPod to the other end of the bed, where it lay looking sinisterly innocent. Jesus, she couldn't even listen to a song without falling apart. Without thinking of him.

Chest shaking, she bit her fist, an imprisoned scream barely contained. She couldn't fight it anymore. Quickly closing her bedroom door, Natalie grabbed the pocket-knife from her desk, where it had been lying, glaring at her. Sitting on the cold floor, with her back to the door, she rolled up her school shirt sleeve to reveal a stricken arm, bearing scars from its last meeting with the knife. Scars which hadn't even begun to heal yet. For a moment, Natalie lightly stroked the knife up and down her arm, its mirror shine smiling grimly at her. Setting steel to skin, Natalie closed her eyes and inhaled; her face an opus of black stained tears. Releasing her blood was like releasing her poison. A natural poison that taunted her every heartbeat, her every breath. Loves own venom.

Bringing her weak and burning arm across her chest, dripping blood onto the paper white of her shirt, Natalie kept her eyes tensely shut. She didn't know why, but although the feel of her flowing blood soothed her, she couldn't stand the sight of it. Perhaps it made her feel guilty. Perhaps it made her feel ungrateful… weak… cowardly. Natalie evaded the sight for one reason at least. Seeing her blood reminded her she was alive. She didn't want to be alive.

'___Popularity__ is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold'. - Will Rogers_

A glazed look in her eye, Deeshah's 5 month boyfriend had to say her name several times, eventually kissing her softly on the cheek to get her attention. Dragging herself back to reality, she turned to face him, a vague expression on her beautiful face. The group of friends around her laughed. Steven, the before mentioned boyfriend grinned and kissed her again.

'I love confusing you Dee, just for the expression it leaves on your face' Deeshah laughed and pushed him playfully away. 'Want half?' he asked, holding out the cigarette he had been smoking. She hesitated. Deeshah already felt sick and she eyed it with hostility, but she knew if she said no; Ste would carry on until she gave in, as always. So why prolong it? 'Yeah, as always' she grinned falsely and took it in feigned eagerness.

Deeshah Ali was a relatively ordinary 16 year old girl, born there in Norfolk. Her parents were both Indian and they had produced one of the most beautiful young girls possible, a real desire amongst the boys at school. She looked around at the group, sitting there with her on the river bank, and reflected on how much dislike oozed from her towards them. Except for Ste, but even with him, there was some kind of weariness. Maybe even fear. But she did love him… when they were alone. In front of others was the problem, or when he was under the influence of alcohol or any other contaminating substance. Deeshah didn't really know why she hung around with these tiresome people. It was probably because they were who everyone else wanted to be with. Thus, people then wanted to be with her. It felt good; watching other girls suck up to her, envy her, even vainly strive to be like her. Boy's eyes lingering on her for just a second longer than was necessary. But not even the highest throne of high school royalty could fulfill Deeshah. Not even the most sought after boy in school, there to service her every need. She was as empty as the dead night's breeze. No matter how much they envied her, not a single soul would want the cold fire that burnt inside Deeshah. Not a single soul.

'_Nothing weighs on us so heavily as a secret.' - Jean de La Fontaine _

Allura Jones looked in the mirror and screamed. Picking up the slender object of reflection, she threw it against the grey wall, not even turning away as jagged pieces of glass rushed in every direction. An imitation of life itself; shattered. But Allura turned away miraculously unscathed. On the outside, at least.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

'For goodness sake, Natalie Sphinx, will you _please_ just grace me with you attention for once.'

Miss. Allison appeared at Natalie's side like a spider emerging from its sinister shadows. Sitting next to her was two of Natalie's best friends; Sal and Tracii. They were laughing silently and dramatically from behind the teachers back. 'I know you must be swamped with things that make a mathematics lesson simply superfluous, but if you have any desire to pass this exam then you better had listen.'

'My deepest apologies.' Began Natalie; all too familiar sarcasm slipping easily from her tongue. 'Please, continue displaying to the class that math's is the only alternative for a woman that hasn't even a personality to fall back on.' The class erupted into laughter, which was odd for Natalie, as she was used to being mocked or ignored by the vast majority of them. A couple of people gasped in horror too, but Natalie didn't care, nor did she want their sudden approval in the form of laughter. She did not take her eyes from those of the teachers. 'Detention,' Miss. Allison's lip was shaking in fury, 'after school, and don't bother thinking up an excuse.' Natalie's nod was barely noticed. 'Now get out of my classroom.' Expecting this, the addressed picked up her Corpse Bride™ rucksack and moved towards the door, catching eyes with only Sal, who threw her a grin, one she didn't return.

On entering the corridor, Natalie threw her back to the wall, resting her head on it, closing her eyes and breathing slowly and deeply. She really hadn't meant to be so nasty, she was usually never nasty. But the anger that resided in her was incredible, unmitigated. She couldn't assuage it so she would instead force it onto others, which she hated doing, especially since it didn't even help.

She opened her eyes and a single tear glided down her cheek, destined to comfort her bitten, trembling lip. Why did every second have to be so damn hard?

Laughing loudly in his face, Deeshah stared at the teacher as though he were alien.

'What are you on about?'

'No, Deeshah, De que hablas?' he replied calmly.

'Yeah, whatever you say, love.' Turning away, a paper ball was thrown at Deeshah, Steven being the culprit. Laughing; she picked it up and was about to send it back when Mr. Gadd grabbed her arm in mid throw, gently spun her around, push her to her seat and said; 'I'll give you one guess to what 'detención' means.'

'Detention?!' she exclaimed, standing back up, her heart sinking. Not another one, her parents would kill her. 'Well give Ste detention too, he threw it first!'

'Aww,' Ste called mockingly from his seat 'Is poor Dee getting detention?'

'Hmph, as if I care, I've been to about a million of them.' She said sitting back down airily. He leant over and went to kiss her, but she moved back. 'Er,' she stumbled on an excuse for a moment. 'Don't; he'll send me out like last-'

'Miss. Ali, I've had quite enough of your flippant behaviour. Out of my classroom please... if your over large head can fit through that is.' Said Mr. Gadd, a slight smirk on his face.

Steven, along with the rest of their circle, burst into hysterical laughter and Deeshah barely resisted screaming at him. Acting as though she couldn't care less, she briefly threw in a feeble fake laugh with Ste and swanned out the door, making sure he and the rest of them saw her pull her tongue at Mr. Gadd's back.

On entering the corridor, Deeshah threw her back to the wall, put her head in her hands, and rubbed her temples. She was sick of the pretence. Sick of acting like a person she wasn't, a person she didn't want to be. And she was sick of Ste, and the whole lot of them. Plus, she had a pile of coursework that she actually would like to complete. _But oh yeah, _she thought angrily, _people like me don't work, do they?_

Resting her head back against the wall, she sighed. Would things have been easier if she hadn't of picked Ste? Would she be happier if she'd have picked...' The bell went, interrupting Deeshah's thought and setting a new one in her mind. Time to repaint her smile. Time to disguise her soul. Time to, once again, be the girl that people thought so clear as glass, but the girl that people never dared to look inside of.

Like a ghost trapped between the breach of restlessness and peace, Alurra sat, slightly cramped, underneath the stage stairs, staring at the dusty blackness around her, as if waiting for the light. In her secret sanctuary she could finally think about the only thing that didn't hurt... nothing.

She had slowly adapted to blocking out every emotion, every feeling. Anger, misery, loneliness... guilt. She had a cold, stone exterior and not a friend in the world. _Well I don't deserve friends, _her bitter thoughts reflected in her haunted eyes, _I deserve to stay in this silent life forever... I don't even deserve the relief of death. _

Suddenly, someone pulled away the boxes concealing Allura's hide-away. Allura probably would have jumped in fright, had she the strength to react. The youngest and only music teacher of the school - Mr. Daniels, crouched down, looked at the 16 year old and sighed. His face a picture of pity.

'Allura,' he spoke softly, as if to a drowsy child. She didn't look at him. 'Come and have a cuppa in my office, you look as if you need someone to talk to.' Allura blinked, stood up and walked past him, avoiding his gaze. 'Fuck you.' She said simply, though her tone ached in forced back aggression that had been there long before he had disturbed her.

The defined featured teacher shook his head inwardly, a pained expression on his face, as though he had anticipated her response. 'You know this means I have to give you detention, right?' Allura walked away, not really planning any particular destination, and muttered grimly to herself; 'Think detention is bad? Try living in hell.'

The rhythmic pulse of the corridor pounding vigorously around her, the perfume of hot, energetic teenagers in the air, and carrying unrequited love for a person merely inches from her, Natalie dragged her feet down the fit to burst corridor, her small, laughing group of friends surrounding her.

Natalie was vaguely aware of knocking shoulders with another random student, one she had never and probably would never know in her 5 year high school 'experience'. Dan and Tracii were bouncing off each other as usual, their faces full of glee, a laugh barely leaving their lips before they breathlessly continued with the restless rant. They two alone truly appreciated the contents.

'Do it again, do it again!' Tracii begged Dan, his eyes dancing with amusement. They performed, for no-one in particular, some routine they had made up, involving peculiar facial expressions and rather odd sound effects. The group laughed, even the deep in thought Natalie grinned in spite of herself, watching Tracii in particular, his enthusiasm never failing to bring a smile to her face.

Sal, who had somehow forced his laughing to cease said; 'Is it completely absurd that you look like two old women to me?' This did make Natalie laugh, along with the rest of them, which of course gained them one or two disgusted looks from the students around them. They didn't care.

All seven of them, the four girls and the three lads; a group of hopeful spirits who would probably live to not a quarter or their true soul potential... but for now, just let them live.

And they were Natalie's only reason to actually wake after sleep. Especially one of them in particular.

The fuzzy colours of the sickly corridor rushing past her, the sweaty smell of sniggering, immature young people aggravating every inch of her, and hatred that had once been love, bubbling ever so frantically within, for the person with his hands around her waist, Deeshah jadedly tried in vain to quicken the pace of her and the large, above the crowd, group of friends.

A raven haired girl with paper white skin and distant eyes accidently knocked shoulders with Deeshah, and Ste turned aggressively shouting 'Goth' in the girls wake, but it was unheard as the group surrounding her burst into loud laughter. Deeshah envied them all.

'Coming straight to ours after school?' Kirsty demanded of Deeshah, in the shrill, annoying voice that seemed signature for all the girls she knew.

'Nope. Detention.' _Who knew detention could be such a godsend eh?_

'Well don't go, bitch.'

'And get 2 hours on Monday instead? No thanks.' Kirsty sighed heavily.

'Fine, Jade can come instead, better hope she doesn't get her hands on Ste while you're not there.' She teased cruelly, her tongue sticking out slightly between her grinning teeth, as it always did when she attacked her many victims.

John laughed, 'Oh come on Dee, she only joking, no-one in their right mind would chose Jade over you.' Deeshah smiled faintly in reply.

The girl in question was currently flirting with some-one she hads never met, oblivious to any accusations or insults aimed at her.

Deeshah really should watch were she was going – she bumped into yet another fellow pupil, a girl with curly white hair and a lonely look about her. On collision they both looked at each other for a moment, each surveying the other, each wondering who the happier of the two was... each surmising not themselves.

Allura watched from inside one of the classrooms as the void between lessons filtered adolescence through its corridors... she preferred not to be among it though. She observed the many different types of people. 'Geeks' muttering to themselves whilst going over their latest A* essays, though Allura knew that at least one of them would be on drugs. 'Chavs' swearing and grunting at eachother, though Allura knew at least one of them would secretly love romantic comedies. 'Goths' who were laughing hysterically, as ever, though Allura knew that at least one of them would be more depressed than possible for someone their age. Of course there was the 'Popular' gang, who treated each other without loyalty or concern and of whom Allura felt no sympathy, though she knew half of them hated being that way.

No, Allura knew how many different 'categories' there were in the world of high school, hell, in the world in general. There was no use denying that everyone would judge and categorise you and some point and especially that Allura herself would never fit into a single one of those groups. And did she want to? Maybe she did. Maybe she was tired of being silent. But it didn't matter what she wanted, but what she deserved. Not much.

'Allura?' the addressed turned to see, once again, Mr. Daniels arriving in the room to disturb her reflections.

'I'm just leaving.' She muttered rising from the desk and staring toward the door.

'I really wish you'd talk to me. I do worry about you, you know. Despite your best efforts you're not invisible and certainly not insignificant, to me at least.' _Why do teachers have to be so god damn annoying_? Allura thought, sighing silently.

'See you in detention, sir.' Mr. Daniels sighed at her reply, a lot less inconspicuously than Allura.

'I guess they're right,' he said, more to himself. 'You can take a horse a to water but-'

'You can't stop it from drowning itself.' Allura cut across him, quite gravely. The relatively young man's eyes widened and his eyebrows rose quite drastically. Allura actually almost smiled as his expression. Almost.

'I was joking.' she said, without a hint of humour in her eyes. 'Goodbye sir.'

'Goodbye, Allura.' As she shut the door behind her, Daniels watched her go before rubbing his tired eyes and then running his hands hand through un-kept hair. 'Damn kids.'


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

John Daniels picked up his plain white cup and drained the last dregs of cold, bitter coffee. Wincing at the taste, he set it down again and leant his elbows on the desk he was sitting at, rubbing his tired eyes with ring-less fingers. Sighing, he thought about the three girls he was supposed to have for detention in five minutes. There was Natalie, he knew her well from music lessons; she was an incredible singer, though her mind always seemed to be on something else. Or someone else. Then Deeshah, famous Deeshah Ali. She was always rude to him in front of her idiot boyfriend, and flirty with him in front of her 'girl-friends'... but silent when alone. He preferred the latter. But he knew her type and he sympathised with her. She was caught in the High School trap, and he knew she would allow a sigh of relief once she left it, for all like her were simply part of one huge masquerade. And then of course, was Allura. Allura Jones, the mystery he just couldn't solve. His heart bled for her, it really did. Whenever he looked into her deep, hazel eyes, he saw nothing but helpless despair, and he hated not being able to do anything about it.

'Hey Mr. Daniels, I'm here for detention.' Natalie entered first, smiling faintly.

'Ah, yes, I heard about what you said to Miss. Allison.' He replied, a stern expression on his face.

'And?' She asked, almost nervously.

'And I choked on my cornflakes from trying not to laugh.' He grinned, his face crinkling slightly, a result of premature, and rather flattering, wrinkles. Natalie laughed back shyly and sat down not far from his desk. Though after a few seconds her smile faded and she went into her usual state of staring at nothing, her eyes slightly watery and her lips pursed, as though afraid her thoughts would escape from her.

Next to enter was Allura, her eyes downcast. He sighed at the sight of her... did she ever smile? As she turned to sit down their eyes met for a moment, his; warm and concerned, hers... dead. She lowered them again and it was as if she had wordlessly refused his help for the third time that day.

'Thanks for turning up-'he paused, though he expected no reply. His expectations were met. 'This is Natalie, you may know her; she's in your year.' Natalie shook her thoughts away and looked toward John Daniels, but Allura ignored all that surrounded her. 'Natalie this is Allura, do you know each other?'

'Not really... Hi' she smiled slightly and looked towards Allura who ignored her. 'Don't worry, I wouldn't associate with Goths either if I were you, no doubt I've got some evil plan of tricking you into selling your soul to the devil.' Natalie told her, irony caressing her words. The sides of Allura's mouth twitched faintly._ Bloody hell_, John thought, _did a smile almost escape then? _Apparently satisfied with the reaction she received, Natalie turned back to her thoughts.

Almost 15 minutes late, in waltzed Deeshah, chewing gum rather too openly and smelling somewhat like 7 different perfumes.

'Sorry I'm late.' She said, then noticing there were two other students there, she sighed quietly and then suddenly grinned. 'Aww, sir, thought it was going to be just you and me, eh.'

'Yes, how disappointing,' The bored teacher replied 'now sit down and shut up.' Deeshah gasped dramatically and sat down near the window.

'Deeshah, this is Natalie and Allura.' He said, nodding in the direction of each, in turn. Deeshah looked at Natalie and gawped.'

'Oh my God, you're a Goth!'

'I admire your observational skills.' replied Natalie, her tone flat.

'Oh yeah, coming from you, the person who apparently has mistaken the colour black for every other colour there is.' Deeshah instantly looked regretful at her words, as though, to her, quick wit was a sin. Natalie herself looked slightly taken back, as though she too couldn't have anticipated such a response. She raised her eyebrows for a moment but then smiled.

'Touché.' She replied. Deeshah grinned back, a genuine smile that even she had long ago forgotten.

John didn't hear the rest of their conversation. He had gone back to his desk to mark papers, and thinking about the girls different interactions he smiled to himself, his mind focusing on something other than a student's claim that Beethoven had 'cut off his ear at some point or other'.

Deeshah had a huge lump in her throat and tears were burning angrily in her eyes, threatening to glide down her face. She stared at her dinner plate, knife and fork at either side while her hands lay sweaty on her lap.

'What happened to the girl we brought up, Deeshah'? Deeshah's mother was furiously cutting up her 3 year old daughter's dinner, perhaps a little too much. 'What happened to our A grade student who never got into trouble and respected other people, and didn't dress like a prostitute?' At these words Deeshah looked up from carefully examining the table cloth and threw her mother a dirty look who, thankfully, didn't notice, while Deeshah's father almost choked on chicken.

'I'm the same person.' Deeshah replied quietly, knowing this was partly true. She was still that person inside, it was just that no-one ever saw her anymore.

'Ha! Do you think I'm stupid!?' exclaimed Mrs. Ali, while attempting to cut up mash. 'It's that damn boyfriend of yours, he's no good and he's taking our daughter away from us' As she finished her sentence, Deeshah's mother broke into tears and sat back down, putting her hands over her face. Deeshah was overcome with guilt as her own tears slid down her cheek and she got up and started to move towards her mother.

'Get out of my sight.' Deeshah stopped in her tracks at her mother's words, her lip trembling. She ran from the room, up the stairs and to her bedroom, slamming the door furiously in her wake. She threw herself onto her bed and cried hard. What she hated most was how right her mother was, and how Deeshah couldn't argue with her blaming of Ste because... because Deeshah agreed.

A few hours later, Deeshah woke up and the first thing she noticed was the mascara marks all over her detailed pillowcase. Sighing, she ignored it and went over to her laptop, were she had an email from Ste. Conveniently overlooking it, Deeshah found that she also had an email from someone she'd only very recently met. Smiling, she began to read.

There came a very sober knock on Allura's door and with a curious and almost scared expression, she made her way to it, opening it gingerly.

'Hello Allura.' Mr. Daniels stood there in the suit he had been wearing that day for work, his hair as infuriatingly messy as always. Allura stared at him for a moment, panic racing through her. Instinctively, she closed over the door, leaving barely a space for him to see her through.

'What are you doing here?' she hissed, forgetting he was teacher and probably 10 years older than her. He smiled and stepped forward slightly.

'Is your mother home? I called, but it seems the school have taken down your number wrong, it says number doesn't exist.'

'She, she's in bed, she's ill, please go away sir, I need to check on her.' She sounded urgent, as though mere seconds away could be fateful. A concerned look spread over the young man's face and Allura actually felt thankful to him, he was so kind. Rather annoying though.

'Are you alright looking after her all by yourself?'

'It's only the flu, she'll be fine. What did you want her for anyway?' she asked suspiciously. Daniels took a deep breath, as though preparing to jump into the abyss.

'Allura I know you are determined to evade me, and who can blame you, I am a pest.' He smiled shyly, 'But Allura I'm not blind; I see that hopeless misery in you and I can't bear to watch you struggle through each day. You come to school and it's like you don't want to be there, but you don't want to go home. You seem so alone, yet you won't let anyone near you. Allura please talk to me, or I'm afraid I must insist on speaking with your mother.' Allura looked at him, his kind concerned eyes, his lined face and sighed. She felt like she should cut him some slack, he really was admirably persistent. This would be for his benefit, not hers.

'Look, I'll talk to you after school tomorrow, okay? Now will you please leave, sir?'

'You promise?'

'I promise.'

Natalie closed the door after her, and smiled gratefully that her mother was still in work; she liked having the house to herself, she liked quiet. Though as soon as she went to throw herself on her bed, to maybe cry for a while, her phone went off and she sighed as she picked it up, but seeing it was a text from Tracii, Natalie opened it.

_Nat... Chantal has just dumped me. For Joe I bet, though she denies it. Remember you agreed that something was going on between them? I hate her so much. Anyway, can I come over for a bit? It's just that no one but you can cheer me up, LOL. If I stay here, I'm scared I'll kill myself... or her._

Natalie stared at the text for a moment, mouth open in shock, about a million thoughts going through her mind, she text back as quickly as she could.

_That bitch. Yeah of course you can come over, though the idea of killing Chantal is rather tempting :D Haha._

Natalie quickly tidied up the various mess around her room and then sat on her bed, just thinking. Tracii arrived no more than ten minutes later and they sat there for a while, talking normally, laughing and joking, completely at ease with each other, good friends as always. For Tracii it was nice to see Natalie in a good mood, for they seemed to have become seldom for her for a while now.

'Or we could just tell the whole school about all the spots she has on her back' Said Natalie, still laughing at their many suggestions of revenge at Chantal.

'Haha, yeah, I wonder if Joe will be so quick to snatch her up then.' Tracii said, leaning on Natalie's bed next to her. 'You're the smart one you know, choosing to stay single.'

'Choosing?! Yeah, because I vividly remember the miles of boys that I happily rejected.' Natalie replied, laughing.

'Oh come on Natalie, you're gorgeous, if you ventured out of that head of yours for once, you'd see all the lads that simply fall at your feet.'

'Don't be stupid, who do you think I am, Chantal!?' she joked, grinning. Tracii smiled faintly back but then was still for a moment. He suddenly rose and went to look out of the window.

'I really thought we were in love, you know.' He suddenly started crying and Natalie panicked, she's never seen this side of emotions from him before. Natalie rose as well and walked towards him. She turned him around and held while he cried quietly, shushing him instinctively. After a few moments he raised his head slowly and looked at her. She smiled encouragingly, glad he had stopped crying. She was about to move her arms from around him when he moved slightly closer. It was as if Natalie was completely unaware of what he was doing, she just stood there looking at him as though expecting to stay exactly that way forever, though she could feel his heart thumping dangerously against her chest. He put his hands to her face, pulled her toward him, and kissed her.


End file.
